So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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