North Korea, Best Korea!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
