That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
