she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
