I want to have your abortion
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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