I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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