Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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