Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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