we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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