he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize