You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
