I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
