porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
