Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
