took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize