It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
