Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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