I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
