I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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