i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
