there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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