Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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