My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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