I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
