"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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