he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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