you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize