I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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