And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
