you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she told me i tasted like america
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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