VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Who died my cat blue again?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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