you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
