Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
