He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
