I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
