so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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