So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
