Already got asked if we're dating
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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