I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
