3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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