mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
