Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
