At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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