Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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