ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
