3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
