someone threw a dead crab at me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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