we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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