I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
