She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
