I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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