so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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