Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
