Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
