she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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