So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
