Porn is love you can see.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
