Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
