there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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