i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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