I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
