Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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