I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
