woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
